new start????

So i am goin to try and make a new start on life. Eat a athleats diet and do lots more sports and at some point im supost to find the love of my life and have some really good friends i trust?? unlikly but hey i can dream. Sure i have N but a while ago N totally spent ages lying to me soo ive lost all trust of her and if it was anyone else i wud tell them to stuff emselves but i luvs N too much she rules and shes my closest (and only willing) Bestie right now. Sure H is round during skwl but shes seen what im really like and i dont think she likes me bein round that much and anyway i dont like annoyin her coz shes allready got big groups of friends and i kno ill always feel like a outsider round em! Thats what i love bout N tho she takes me 4 what i am and dont expect me to change sure were unlikely friends and were both opisites in lots of things and i spend most my time worring or bein stressed or arguein wiv N but wen we do c eachover out of Netball we have fun. Wudn't trade her 4 the world. S still hates me and i miss her like hell, but i supose only time can change thinngs and im used to bein a outsider i allways have been! Last lesson of skwl yesterday was Welsh and i spent most of the lesson tryin to decide weather i wanted to hit something or cry (wen i feel upset it makes me feel weak so i turn it into anger) becoz the boys who i sit near get a kick off tryin to upset me etc and im fed up of it. No my fault im not one of em hoes wo spends all there time starving themselves and doin there hair and makeup couldnt think of anything worse to do!