new start????

So i am goin to try and make a new start on life. Eat a athleats diet and do lots more sports and at some point im supost to find the love of my life and have some really good friends i trust?? unlikly but hey i can dream. Sure i have N but a while ago N totally spent ages lying to me soo ive lost all trust of her and if it was anyone else i wud tell them to stuff emselves but i luvs N too much she rules and shes my closest (and only willing) Bestie right now. Sure H is round during skwl but shes seen what im really like and i dont think she likes me bein round that much and anyway i dont like annoyin her coz shes allready got big groups of friends and i kno ill always feel like a outsider round em! Thats what i love bout N tho she takes me 4 what i am and dont expect me to change sure were unlikely friends and were both opisites in lots of things and i spend most my time worring or bein stressed or arguein wiv N but wen we do c eachover out of Netball we have fun. Wudn't trade her 4 the world. S still hates me and i miss her like hell, but i supose only time can change thinngs and im used to bein a outsider i allways have been! Last lesson of skwl yesterday was Welsh and i spent most of the lesson tryin to decide weather i wanted to hit something or cry (wen i feel upset it makes me feel weak so i turn it into anger) becoz the boys who i sit near get a kick off tryin to upset me etc and im fed up of it. No my fault im not one of em hoes wo spends all there time starving themselves and doin there hair and makeup couldnt think of anything worse to do!

Im sooo ill

Sooo i havnt ritten much lately but theres not much to right really, not much has happened to me lately unless u count the usual crappy stuff. I think me and H have gone funny i think shes realised y most people dont like me in skwl. I like soo ill today my throat kills and my ear i like realli painful and i keep struggleing to get breath Grrrrr! I dont like it!
Yer so i txted N earlier and asked her to play out tomoz and she was like Cba and it like really hurt coz im goin thru a hard time and need her to b there behind me supporting me not tellin me she cba and i havnt seen her in ages and i kno shes got a cold but iv got inflamed toncils so i can bearly eat or swollow and either a ear infection or i could have poss busted the ear drum (well it hurts bad enought) and the pain did start ofter that reinactent of a battle wiv VERY loud guns goin off! But its made me feel depressed that not eneven my bestie gal who i love the most in the world and would do anything 4 cba goin out to c me! she wud bearly have to move. usually it wouldnt bother me but shes the only person ive got left :'(!
x x x x x x
Kazzie

H is a life Saver COOLIST person i kno!!! no much goin on in my life at the mo! But OMG i was Tlkin to ML and he sed how M was sayin he dump me haha i couldnt stop laughtin. I was like i'm glad i dumped him i wouldnt wanna go out wiv somone who cant even take gettin dumped wiv good grace and i need some one who could handle me and he proved that he couldnt and that kinda got borein Anyone herd of this word it beings wiv a e its called Excitment (i spelt it wrong mind u) hehe No one has any guts anymore too scared of gettin told of everyone is! Its Disgraceful!!! Haha I AM REALLY BORED just proof read a really good story by H and its reminded me bout the story iv decided to wright 4 the 100th time but never finished! AND i have FRENCH HOMEWORK to do for TOMMORW only got it today Arrrrrr Daft teacher who thinks we have nothin better to do lol!
H u rule thanking u 4 puttin up wiv me at my worst no alot of ppl wud do that I admire u. xxxx
Very Ironic callin the caracter in your book Sam mind u haha tho i think u writ it b4 it happened it just couldnt help but think it ironic. Ly H ur the best perosn i kno
*heads table* I is goin to shut up now haha b4 i annoy anyone else Haha
x x x x x x x
Kazzie

Dont kno what to say

I really dont know what to say right now skwl has been stressfull. Well it would be seeing all my old "gang" who i used to hang round go all off wivout me. I thought atleast someone who stick by me but i was wrong and they have blocked me out :'( and its Gut renching. I miss all the laughs and its all because me and sam broke friends :'( which upset me full stop. I thought we were all a group of friends but its obv i thought wrong. But i am not goin to get down coz off it. Break times and lunch is fine coz H is just bein my life saver and letting me hang round wiv em but her mates arnt so welcoming. Tho its ok there not compleatly mean but its still not nice. The problem is H is really nice so i dont kno wether shes bein all nice because she feels sorry for me or coz were mates? But H dont kno how much her bein nice means to me i dont know what i would do wivout her coz everyone else including everyone in my form has turned there backs on me!!! And Natalie oh Natalie what can i do about natalie cant live wiv her cant live wivout her haha I love her like my sis but at times i cant stand her like she messes round wiv my head i dont think she means it but still ill ask her to sleep over a week b4 the day and thru that whole week she says wen i ask her ill tell u later i dont kno yet and then the day b4 i call and text her all day wiv no reply only to have her text the morn of the day to say she can come and then 10mins later to have her text sayin she cant I CANT KEEP UP WIV MY LIFE NO MORE everythings goin on at once!!! By the end of the day i was nearly in tears, actually i was nearly in tears at the end of lunch but by the end of the day i couldnt wait to get out the skwl and i usually aint the run away type i go at things feet first usually breaking a lot of things on the way but i couldnt ber it anymore and i am soo glad its the week end i was just bout to go crazy!!!
x x x x x
Kazzie

SKWL

God i hate skwl really hate it!!! Its not the same any more naw wivout S, I MISS HER SO MUCH! SO SO MUCH :'( Tho i'm not goin to let it get to me! I am goin to survive thru all this and lets face it H has been so nice and supporting even tho it ment goin against RD who didnt like her bein my friend. And she dont kno how much her bein a good friend means because ive been feelin reallii crappy recently and have been just so out of it and loney and sad! And shes put up will all my faults recently H has and i kno its not easy when im like that. I STILL MISs S! But OMG the bus was soo funny HAHA, C nicked Lukes tie and gave it to A and then wen L had to get off the bus A gave it back to C, and he told L to get of the bus and she would pass it thru the window but as the bus drove of she neva let it go and OMG the look on L's face was just so funny Hehe

:(

Ok so i went to skwl today and S was ignoring me! I found out that aparently i've sed something to offend her somepoint along the line! I DONT GET IT!!!! We were good mates yesterday after skwl and then i didnt talk to her untill the next morning at skwl!!! Then i found out at lunch why i was being ignored but only coz i litrally followed L till she would tell me. Cnt belive C would turn on me like that either we were all matey earlier today. SO.. today i went to Miss L after lunch in tears and she sent me to Lesson and then at the end of drama i was given a load more of Crap of someone cnt remember who tho (i reeally wanna remember its annoyin me now!!!) went and cried in the toliots! and called my mum! who was in work so was no use at all so in the end i went to form tutor Mr A and he let me spent the lesson (Welsh, so i wasnt missin much) in his room coz i was cryin so bad took me ages to calm down again! (I DONT LIKE CRYING!!!!) I also text my bestie N and coz shes so good she made some time to hang round wiv me after skwl!!! even tho she knows i go hyper after im upset badly! So i had to go home get changed the grab my game that was over due in the game shop and come back to town but... as i got the car i slamed the door but i forgot to move my thumb and slamed it straight onto my thumd it was soo painful i SCREAMED my head off! The i had to go into the library still sobbing and find a autobiography (Richard Hammonds) Then i had to sprint to the game exchange and there was a newish ladie there was made a joke that might have been funny apart then the pain and breathlessness!!!
Apart frm that some very weird and kinda funnyish things happened today! First was the poor year 7 (it was his birthday) on our bus has a older bro in yr 10 and he got everyone (mostly year 10's) to sing happy birthday poor lad went red!! And during the part of lunch when everything was good yr 10 scared me L was NICE!!!! I Fought he hated my Guts haha shows everyone changes! And then after skwl at N's i was havin tea and we were at the table (Wow really nice table) Me, N and her older bro in yr 10 (..... ) and N and C were tellin these tales bout funny stuff in skwl! I couldnt stop laughtin (Post-upset hyperness) I dunno why hehe Wow N always puts the world straight 4 me SHE RULES!!!!! ILU bbes!!! Lyk best friend in the worldio!!!
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Kazzie

....

God i am so tierd and achey!!!! My leg is killing me!!! Skwl was boring like mad! I dont get why me and S cant go back to they way we were and it dont help she dont like my other mate L so i cant really hang round wiv L. And why are all the boys i know so confuseing but no in a emontional way but in a really annoyin hes sooo senstive way!!!!! Coz like we used to go out and i ended it coz i didnt fancy him and all i'd wanted was to be mates. But no since we split up i aint seen him apart from in skwl. Thats somthing else i dont get S and M are like all matey and friendly in skwl but like on msn S is allways ready to point out wer not bezzies anymore, but like sometimes in skwl shes really nice... but other times shes sooo mean it makes me want to cry, i dont get it at all. Why are they all nice inside skwl and act like everythings fine but not when were out off skwl. But im also all hurty today wiv my leg! Had P.E first lesson today what idiot made that one up, its better last so u can just go straight home and get changed not walk round all sweaty all day!!!! And to boot no one in my year out of the girls will use the showers (there idiots) seriosuly there al in cubiculs i dont get the fuss! Had netball after skwl to (the leg was still hurtin) and im not in a vry good mood coz me and N have been bezzies 4 ages but then we went to diff high skwls and she has her "Gang" there and sometimes i just feel like im being replaced and its makin me quite sad coz ive neva had good friends and i supose thats caused me to look at N as a friend but also almost like a sister too (i am a only child). And it makes me misreble to feel like im being replaced coz i asked wether she wanted a sleepover this fri but she was all like im goin to J's instead and i kno it makes me feel realii selfish but i cant help it coz shes like one of the most important people in the world to me! IS also hoping that her Uncle invites me to see his new house!!!! Hes moved in with his girlfriend. But is hoping even more that Uncle P will take me bowlin or to lazerquest sometime soon coz its been ages since i last went! oooo Hopes Uncle P gets married one day so i can (hopefully) be bridesmaid i would love to get a really nice dress! *heads table* GOD what is it wiv me today, Me This, ME that really im not usually this bad!!!!!
OOO just remembered last year in skwl my class sent of these emails to these skwl kids in france suposidily in french we had lernt (most of us used online translators) and S had got a reply of her email buddie, but 4 somereason im the only person who aint got a reply!!!
ANd its not my fault there are lots of cute boiis in Chester and non in my skwl soo dont blame me 4 sayin i saw a cute one!!!!
LOU I MISS U!!!!!!!! Plz 4give me!!!!
x x x x
Kazzie

P.S just realised that if i keep the writin at black you cant see it on the blog HeHe

So here i am

Ok so here i am, with a blog at last. I was thinking the other day when would it be best to start a new blog and then it hit me! NOW! While everything is all simple and normal after all the hell that happened over the summer! New start now so why not add a blog into the new start ive wanted to start one in ages! i am really confident person really rambling on now coz i dont kno what to put...!


I had a really fun day today it was my mums b-day yesterday so my nana took all the girls (me mum nan and my uncles girlfriend) to Chefs Wok best Chinese place ever! all stuffed ourselves till we could eat no more tho i am now lookin thin and fabulous rather fat.
x x x
Kazzie